Whe am I becoming very clingy?

For three years you were struggling without grandfather's news. Therefore it has to be within you . I would guess having been this route myself that his leaving that way is making things worse for you. Explaining how your body and mind works together to make depression or how the majority are able to escape depression will serve little purpose. You need help and guidance every day now by someone who cares or is paid to guide you out of this. Your general health will deteriorate from lack of exercise, good thoughts and good eating habits. Go tomorrow to a councilor like at school and tell your story. Once you get some better ideas going for you then ask how it all works. If you think you are strong enough now to learn about the different ways of life then say so. You will get an explanation that it is not your fault and some things can be done right away. Cheers for now. You are not the only one.